Friday, January 23, 2015

I know how to say NO

Saying no as a woman doesn't always come easy. We worry about how others will feel and if we'll hurt their feelings by saying no. - I call it the people pleasing syndrome.. Often times, we put the needs of others before our own. We're nurturers, its what we do.
Just Say NO and hell no when necessary
But all that comes at a price. You over extend yourself. You make commitments you're not fully comfortable with. Your needs become less of a priority. You find yourself in situations you regret being in. We tend to feel selfish when considering our own wants, needs, and happiness.

Truth be told, Not saying NO = Self-sacrificing behavior ... Let that marinate for a sec...

How many times have people told you no?.. whether directly or indirectly..i.e. not showing up, not calling you, not responding to you, leaving you, ignoring you.. It's so many ways to say no.

There's power in the word No and I've learned to use it.

What I know about "NO"

1. Say what you mean - Be firm. Own it. Don't say no with a question mark or a maybe behind it.

2. It doesn't make you mean. Remember, its not what you say, its how you say it. A honest no is better than a forced yes.

3. It's hard. It's not always easy to say no to your family, friends and loved ones. You begin to feel guilty, like you owe them something. If they love you the way you love them, they'll understand.

4. "No" has its place in the work place. Why take on a project or assignment at work that you really don't want to be responsible for, if you have the option. I don't know about you but when I do something I really don't want to do in the first place, the results are usually not good.

5. Think of what you're giving up. You could be focusing on something else that truly makes you happy, instead of spending time accommodating someone else's needs or expectations.

Get comfortable with saying no. Practice makes perfect. 

~Here's a few "no phrases" to put into rotation~
No
No, thank you
Not today
Thanks for the consideration but I'll pass
I'm not coming
I'm not available
Thanks but no thanks
Naw or Nah
Maybe another time
Nope
Heck no
I don't think so
That's not going to happen
I can't
**Hell No** (Well done. You've mastered the art of "NO")

Are you a yes person? How comfortable are you with saying no? 



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11 comments:

  1. Great advice! This is something that I'm learning to master over the years. Definitely hard but needs to be done. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Saying no is one of those things you learn with time and experience but the sooner the better. Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. I have been getting better. My main thing is that people try to make me feel guilty after i've said "No" . I've been standing my ground and move on, no worries.

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    1. Yes, be firm. Say what you mean and mean what you say!

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  3. I agree. I am that person who likes to please everyone.

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    1. Pleasing everyone else leaves no room to please the most important person which is you.

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  4. I really needed to read this today. I'm such a yes person and I'm always overextending myself.

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    1. Its tough, especially when it comes to those we care about but its a bad habit that can be changed. One day at a time. Take time to remember you and your needs.

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  5. It's nice to do something once in a while for another person, but when they keep asking you to do everything and use you; enough is enough and it is time to say no!

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    1. Exactly. Know your limits and refuse to be used!

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  6. I completely agree with all these ways of 'saying no', but we shouldn't have to teach people how to say no- people simply shouldn't be put in a position where they feel uncomfortable saying it! It's not down to the person declining an offer, it's up to the person asking to make sure that before they ask, they know they're causing no discomfort or upset to the person <3 Very empowering post :)

    goodmorningbelle.blogspot.co.uk

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